Make no mistake. I’m a creature of the night. But it has gotten worse lately that I’m thinking there’s more to it than just a simple case of twisted nature.
Two days ago, my friend and former student Duday Caballero asked how I was. A simple question would have merited a simple answer. But I only took a deep breath, smiled, and shook my head. And then I realized I’m in career purgatory. I’m in this phase where I’m “purifying” myself and figuring out how I want to spend the next 5-15 years of my professional life and [my] life in general.
But I better speed up since I don’t want to fall into the trap of indecisiveness and over-analysis; certainly not in these tough times. Besides, I want to wake up again to a job I look forward to every single day with new clothes, shoes, and bags! LOL
In the meantime, I’ll feed my imagination just when everybody is asleep. Here are some of my favorite things from my sleep kit.
Apparently, it also takes a lot to put me to sleep. But dreamland it is!
P.S. You might find this quote I got from Reader’s Digest (January 2010) inspiring, too.
I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something. Say, instead, you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow. — Julia Cameron
Trying to put in black and white the rubble of thoughts in my mind at almost 4 A.M.
- My learning curve may not be steep, but it’s definitely rising.
- I may not be doing anything, but I’m on to something. And that something is probably what I want to do/have for the rest of my life.
- Productivity for me has taken on a new meaning. I just answer this simple question every day: Have I done something today that brings me joy? (Emphasis on the pronouns.)
- Beauty and art have a huge influence on my psyche. I used to be afraid that I’d be stereotyped. Now, I’m ready to exploit this gift.
- Taste and class have little to do with money.
- Giving my love, time, and resources to the person I see in the mirror. It’s about time, he says.
P.S. Yes, I have a bear. And I love it.
I think haggardness is written all over my face. But I’m not complaining for receiving these babies as holiday gifts!
Now, if only they have something for love. Kidding!
Filed under: Challenges, Family, Good times, Joy, Me, People, Relationships, Studies, Work, travel
Ranting is easy, but it is no longer for me. I actually love how 2009 turned out to be. I know that every bit of it — pleasant or otherwise — will shape a better 2010 for me. So, here’s to the year that was!
The highlights of my 2009 are as follows:
- Attending the university graduation after (x) years of studying and getting promoted at work because of earned degree.
- Going out on trips with friends. Laiya, Batangas in April and Shanghai, China in June.
- Trip to North Cotabato, Mindanao for research. My appreciation towards the conveniences I enjoy has escalated during the trip.
- Getting my Vogue subscription. The delivery could still be improved though. My issue doesn’t arrive on time.
- Learning how to drive in Metro Manila and be good at it!
- Moving on by meeting someone new. Six months later, I needed to move on again. Haha!
- Celebrated my birthday at the hospice and then having a fabulous party with friends in the city the next day.
- Widening my circle of friends and even working with some of them. Meeting, uh, interesting people I wouldn’t normally talk to. Haha!
- Finally enrolling in a gym.
- Leaving the academe to explore avenues where I could practice/live out my profession/passion. Not to mention crying in class after a surprise send-off/tribute program. Very touching! I couldn’t help it. I cried again when my colleagues threw me a send-off party.
- Getting a lot of good feedback, support, and even having a “fan page” and my own shirt courtesy of my students when they learned about my decision to leave work. I’ll forever be reminded how blessed I was to have that job.
- Spending more time with family and appreciating being at home doing nothing.
* * *
Transition is over. It’s now 2010.
Time to break new grounds.
Time to raise the bar.
Time to be fiercer.
Time to be chicer.
Time to be the new/better me.
It just dawned on me that the “New” in “New Year” does mean something this time.
Something/Someone different.
Something/Someone better.
Something/Someone fabulous.
Something/Someone I just imagined.
Something/Someone finally coming true.
First day at the gym after a month-long of rest (I was sick for two weeks and then came Christmas break.) I was looking forward to working out again. I woke up very early and went to the gym at 8 a.m.
After running for 30 minutes on the treadmill, I went on with my routine using free weights and the machines for about an hour. I was about to do two more routines, but I had to go to the comfort room before I resume. I knew something was wrong. I felt lightheaded. And then I passed out.
Obviously, I didn’t remember falling on the floor until I became conscious. I panicked. I tried to stand up and struggled walking towards the door to ask for help. The trainer came to help me. The people at the counter told me that they actually heard a loud sound from the comfort room. They thought it was just some gym member closing his locker or dropping his bag on the floor. But there was nobody in the comfort room except me. According to them, they heard the sound about a minute before I came out asking for help. So, I passed out and stayed on the floor for about a minute.
When help came, I realized I had a terrible fall. My head was aching and I bruised my left elbow. Lesson of the story? Get enough rest and eat well before hitting the gym. (I know but lay down the stupid sign. You don’t know the whole story.)
I still need to get a checkup though. I might be anemic or have low blood pressure.
I’m happy I’m alive. No kidding. It could have gotten worse. That was how I felt it.
Two days ago, I wrote in my Facebook status that I feel “the strongest urge to blog.” However, I wasn’t able to post anything here simply because I had no means to do so. Since we were at the hospital, I updated my status using my mobile phone. Looking back though, I’m happy that I did not write anything that day and, surprisingly, I find no interest anymore to articulate unfortunate and hurtful experiences from here onwards. Believe me, the 23rd felt like Friday the 13th for me. There was plenty of “material” to write about. But I’m picking up the lessons instead of wasting my time reliving and putting into words the agony and anger I felt that day.
I guess Miss Positivity finally caught up with me and she’s staying indefinitely.
Someday, I’ll say…
“Hey, that guy on TV! He gave me this mug for my coffee!”
NOTE: I’ve been getting send-off presents since two weeks ago.They’re all interesting, not to mention heartwarming. This week, I got this mug. I love it. A piece of someone who’s going to make it BIG soon.
As a consumer, I would like to believe I’ve grown mature in plenty of ways this year. Why? I say so because…
- I haven’t shopped that much. My stacks of paper bags aren’t that many compared to previous years.
- I think I’ve outgrown my dependency on labels (although I’m still very much deprived of them, I think). What I’m trying to say is looking good relies greatly on achieving the look — how you put things together and how you carry the clothes, not the price tag. In fact, I kind of hate brand name dropping. I stand by my belief, “Elegance means not having to state what is meant to be observed.” Ironically, some of the famous people from way back who were revered for their looks (read: Audrey Hepburn) were less concerned of their image. They made noise without blowing the horn.
- I’ve passed up on many sales this year. I was once an impulsive shopper. Apparently, this year I’ve tamed the monster.
- I rationalize and canvass (a lot) before I make a purchase.
- Money, just like other blessings, is best enjoyed when shared.
