Someday, I’ll say…

“Hey, that guy on TV! He gave me this mug for my coffee!”

NOTE: I’ve been getting send-off presents since two weeks ago.They’re all interesting, not to mention heartwarming. This week, I got this mug. I love it. A piece of someone who’s going to make it BIG soon.

As a consumer, I would like to believe I’ve grown mature in plenty of ways this year. Why? I say so because…

• I haven’t shopped that much. My stacks of paper bags aren’t that many compared to previous years.
• I think I’ve outgrown my dependency on labels (although I’m still very much deprived of them, I think). What I’m trying to say is looking good relies greatly on achieving the look — how you put things together and how you carry the clothes, not the price tag. In fact, I kind of hate brand name dropping. I stand by my belief, “Elegance means not having to state what is meant to be observed.” Ironically, some of the famous people from way back who were revered for their looks (read: Audrey Hepburn) were less concerned of their image. They made noise without blowing the horn.
• I’ve passed up on many sales this year.  I was once an impulsive shopper. Apparently, this year I’ve tamed the monster.
• I rationalize and canvass (a lot) before I make a purchase.
• Money, just like other blessings, is best enjoyed when shared.

Happenings and realizations as of  (mid-)November:

• Working out at the gym is therapy for me. It’s also a learning process. You just can’t rely on what people are telling you. You’ve got to know too what you want and what you think would work for you. I’ve been doing plenty of reading, but I know I have to learn more. Just to be clear, I’m not ruling out advice from people. I just want to do my own research, too.

• Facebook can be draining, only because I’ve subjected myself to it a little too much. It makes me forget about reality, which shouldn’t be. I’m putting a limit to my online time to this site from now on. Let’s see how it affects my productivity. More entries to this blog perhaps?

• It’s been quite a long time, but still you’re on my mind. Even before 500 Days of Summer, I’ve had 5 Months of You. Apparently, I haven’t stopped counting. Right now, you’re still numero uno. Sigh. (So over! I’m buying my own meal and mine alone. Someone’s about to treat me the next time around and that I wouldn’t mind.)

• A door is about to close, but I’m excited to open a few good ones. Never had this chance for a long time. I’m ready. If my life were a TV series, this new season has got to be the most exciting! Move on Ugly Betty.

• This is the year when I shopped the least. Most of my money went to travel, going out/eating out, and car gasoline. I wouldn’t trade though for any brand new shoes the thrill and liberty of being able to experience long driving with great music.

• I’m rediscovering the joy of watching movies on the big screen. I figured I should do this more often. It’s probably the cheapest treat I could give myself every month.

• Every day I try to be kind to other people. Every day, too, I try to be kind to myself and talk to God more frequently.

Like everybody else, I believe that birthdays are a time to be grateful. I may still be average; but name it, I have it – family, friends, career, and good health – all at 30. However, reaching this age suddenly got me thinking how long my life would go on from here onwards. Would I be lucky enough to reach 35? 40? 50? Or even 60? Only God knows.

But assuming I’d be blessed to live another 30, that means I’m already halfway through the race. If I’ve spent the first half wishing and wanting, fearing and wondering, I better change my act now.

Thirty should be the age for action. It should be the time to start getting things done – my way; the time to be adventurous, bold, and brave; the time to live out long-time passions; the time to love, help, and serve more; the time to make the ideal into reality, the time to fully take charge of my life and chart my own destiny; and finally, the time to fully accept who I am and what I have been given – strengths and weaknesses, and everything in between.

I believe I’m created the way I am to do the things I’ve been only dreaming about. Every bit of me contributes to my capability.

So, here’s to turning 30!

Things can only get more exciting from here onwards.

Again, thank you.

A good strategist would tell you that everything that you do should lead you closer to your goal. Oh God, let that time come to me. It has been quite some time since I felt so alive. The daily irony is killing me.

Some ironies:

• I have a high tolerance level for putting myself low.
• I am stronger when I just surrender.
• What seems to be a complicated situation often requires a simple solution.
• I forget me all the time.

New directions:

• I’m making more room for quality.
• If my kindness doesn’t kill you, my indifference will.
• I better apply some values in journalism to my personal life. From now on, I’ll stick to the facts.
• First person is I.

You’ve got to give me some slack for not counting years on this one. However, I do admit that I was kind of dense (again) considering that the same set of red flags were already flashed before me. I went on thinking this was going to be different. I think we all know now that it wasn’t.

But I’m back on my feet again and I’m much more composed now than before. I’m letting this one go because we’ve both had enough: I’ve had enough of the same old story while the other party had enough of me. How so? Because no one should be that lucky to receive that much without giving any.

Besides, I do believe that I could be luckier with a new one — someone who can equally give and take.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (Reinhold Niebuhr)

I appreciate the beauty of surrender. It’s not about being coward nor losing hope. It’s about being realistic. It’s about recognizing that perhaps there is something (or someone) better in store for me.

Control never assured anyone of happiness because in one way or another, things do go way out of hand. Nevertheless, I find it comforting and empowering to know that I can control myself, my thoughts, and my action.

That no matter what happens, everything is a matter of perspective. That even on a rainy day, the warmth of a blanket makes me feel better and think that all is well.

I can’t talk right now. I’ll just borrow these lines from Alanis Morissette’s You Learn.

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn